Saturday, 1 October 2011

Relationship Balance

Relationships, any relationships, tend to work better when there is a power balance either by negotiation or not. 

One aspect of power inbalance is abuse whether it be sexual, physical or psychological, which is why the abuser is always in the wrong and the abused are never at fault.

 Over the years some have talked about some Priests who have sexually abused children saying that it is because they are not allowed to marry and therefore this abuse is the result of sexual frustration. In my opinion, this view has no validity and that any abuse is based in a need for power over someone else.

People who abuse do not come from a place of strength but from a place of weakness. Bullies, for instance, do not bully because they are strong but because they weak. I am not talking about physical strength here as often their physicality enables these bullies to succeed. There is also strength in numbers and where this occurs it tends to be a collection of the weak and the damaged. They require as much help as their victims.

It is more than possible to feel empowered in spite of what others have done to us but like anything, it takes work.

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