Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Assumptions Can Make You Blind To The Truth

Assumptions can make you blind to the truth as I have seen many times with clients seeing me about couple relationships and parenting. 

I hear things like' What am I, a mind reader?' ' How was I to know?' 
Most of us are not mind readers but act like one. We often respond on a guess and think we know the other person so well that our assumptions are correct without ever checking it out, with possible surprising consequences.

Facebook pages are littered with assumptions about people and their situations without really knowing their true experience. The top assumption is that we think we know and that is an adequate status when in fact it may be damaging and hurtful to another.

How often have you heard people say, "I know how you feel". They don't. No one can know how the other feels. They assume that because maybe they have experienced a similar situation then that must be the same for someone else. A case of one size fits all and a very prescriptive way of thinking. If I as a Counsellor took a similar line, my Clients would only heal by pure luck as one method and intervention does not work for everyone. One abused person does not necessarily feel in the same way as another.

Assumptions block communication and don't help the the way we relate to others. As we know, the idea of communication is to get our ideas across to others and for them to understand what we have said. This a two way street. Assumptions have no place in this verbal transaction as they act as roadblocks hiding the necessary real understanding. If we assume others understand without checking out with them, the truth of the matter may be absent.


Giving Your Life Direction

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